Welcome To The Gastrointestinal Armageddon

Gastrointestinal Armageddon

First and foremost, I’m not posting this because I’m trying to sell you 5 pound bags of sugar-free Haribo Gummy Bears.  In fact, I would recommend you don’t eat these. Ever. If you’re curious as to what a gastrointestinal Armageddon feels like, knock yourself out. Or if you have enemies with a sweet tooth, by all means share the wealth. In any case, proceed with caution and make certain there’s a bathroom nearby.

I spent almost an hour reading the reviews for this product and, without a doubt, it’s one of the funniest things I’ve read in my lifetime.  You can’t make this shit up (no pun intended). I laughed out loud through most of it. On the flip side, I had the utmost sympathy for those who fell victim to the Haribo colon cleanse.

For people, like myself, who live a sugar-free life, a bag of sugar-free Haribo Gummy Bears is a big deal. It truly has the “spank my ass and call me happy” effect.

Oh. My. Fuck. Candy I can eat!

Most of us are under the impression that sugar-free chocolate is “the stuff that causes severe diarrhea.” Not so. Most sugar-free candy, confections and frozen treats are laced with a variety of sugar alcohols that induces harsh, and often painful, side effects.

Malitrol is the worst offender.

I will forever be haunted by my first, and only, experience with malitrol. It’s similar to what these people experienced after chomping on a few handfuls of these gummy bears. I won’t bore you with the gruesome details.  If you’ve got a few minutes, and you’re in need of a chuckle, check out the customer reviews for sugar-free Haribo Gummy Bears.

 

 


Comments

Welcome To The Gastrointestinal Armageddon — 1 Comment

  1. Thank goodness I do not like Gummy Bears…unfortunately I love Mandarin Oranges and the can I decided to eat had Malitrol in it and the same thing happened to me. I thought I was dying.

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